I’m working with someone who is hot and cold. When things are going well with his team, he is cheerful, communicative, and complimentary - an all-around nice guy! And when things get sticky, he shuts down. He becomes quiet, almost mopey. He will go out of his way not to address conflict or have difficult conversations.

Do any of these behaviors resonate with you or someone you know? Does it say anything about the other person’s character? Does it say anything about any of ours?

When we talk about character, we refer to the set of traits that define who we are as people and that highly influence the choices we make in our lives. On the other hand, behavior refers to the actions and reactions we have in different situations. So, how is our character exhibited by our behavior?

Our behavior is a reflection of our character. Our actions and reactions in different situations reveal our true character over time. For instance, an ambitious person with a strong desire to achieve success by meeting their goals may show their ambition through hard work and dedication to overcome a challenge or exceed company objectives. Similarly, a person with character traits like integrity, honesty, courage, loyalty, fortitude, and other important virtues that promote good behavior will exhibit these traits in their actions and reactions.

When we react to situations, it can reveal certain aspects of our character. Our reactions can demonstrate our level of self-control, emotional maturity, and communication skills. For example, if we react with anger or aggression in response to a minor inconvenience, it may suggest that we have difficulty managing our emotions and controlling our impulses. On the other hand, if we respond with empathy and understanding, it may indicate that we are patient, considerate, and able to see situations from different perspectives.

In essence, our reactions can serve as a mirror of our character and reveal important insights into our personality and behavior.

So what does it say about our client or any of us who exhibit those behaviors? Well, over time, it says a lot because those behaviors become our identity, which reflects our character.

Our actions and reactions in different situations reveal our true character over time. That’s why it’s important to remember that these skills are learned. Today:

1. Think about which interpersonal skills are serving you or not.  

2. Invest the time to build those skills that cultivate good character traits.

3. Exhibit positive behavior that aligns with who you truly are as an individual.