I’m 19 and my best friend’s sister is getting married and moving into the coolest neighborhood. I think, “That’s going to be me.” I see it clearly. What a beautiful life - or it definitely seems that way. I’m 20 and I’m 100% going to law school. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I can see it now!

We get a picture in our minds of what is supposed to be, and when it doesn’t turn out that way, it can so easily cause feelings of dissonance and angst. 

Except…

Except when things turn out better. Then the feelings turn to joy and happiness.

This is the mind game people! What is in our minds determines everything. 

Being that it’s the American Thanksgiving this week and the holidays are approaching, these feelings of “wait, it wasn’t supposed to be this way,” can be even more magnified. Again, the mind game.

There are givens in life: 

1. Nothing stays the same

2. There is uncertainty in everything

3. There will be pain and there will be joy

And the keys to dealing with these two givens are constant and never-ending learning, growth, and self-work.

Every situation has an element of “it wasn’t supposed to be this way.” Even when things are great. We just don’t look at it that way because we’re so focused on the good. 

Each one of us has the ability to take a situation and realize that there’s good in it. There is something to learn in every situation. 

2 LIFE-CHANGING TOOLS:

1. Gratitude: gratitude interrupts everything. Start naming everything specific you’re grateful for, and then let the feelings of gratitude flow over you. Every time you think, “Wait, it wasn’t supposed to be this way…” - let the gratitude flow!

2. What is the lesson: with everything good and bad, there is a lesson. When we don’t look at things as if they’re good or bad, we realize that it’s just an experience to learn from. If you’re sitting in a place of  “Wait, it wasn’t supposed to be this way…” - write down all the lessons from the experience and know you get to begin again. And go back to the gratitude flow.

My life does not look the way that it “was supposed to” look. Funnily enough, I live in the exact neighborhood that I imagined when I was 19 years old,I am not a lawyer, and my relationships look very different from what they were supposed to be. 

And with that, I am grateful. It looks different and beautiful. And I’m open to what is flowing in, and I choose to know that when I think, “Wait, it wasn’t supposed to be this way…” - it is time to close my eyes and think about everything I’m grateful for and start looking at all the beautiful lessons that have helped me grow on this journey.